I was on my myspace music profile today (4/30/05) and I found this girls blog entry and she had this little thing written in it that I have never seen before and I thought it was GREAT so I wanted to share. This article is directed towards the guys only because I think so few guys look at themselves with "self honor" and admiration like most women do. But there are still a lot of women out there who look at themselves pretty much the same way guys do so for you ladies in need of a self esteem boost, read on.

Here's the little blurb she had:

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...one old love she can imagine going back to... and one who reminds her how far she has come...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants
to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .. something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .. a youth she's content to leave behind...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..one friend who always makes her laugh ... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her
guests feel honored.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW....how to fall in love without losing herself...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... when to try harder ... and when to walk away...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her
parents...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table... or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...what she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year...

Now, look at what's been written here and try to ask yourself what kind of person thinks this way... (tick tick tick tick) a CONFIDENT person. A person with self value, a person that wakes up in the morning and is proud to be alive and happy for the world because they are in it. Is this arrogance? Or is it appreciation? Is it smugness? Or is it simply understanding how much is truly attainable in the world? Is it a negative way of looking at life? Or a possitive?

I wish this weren't true, but from what I've seen so far, I think it is. People, on average don't do most things for the enjoyment of it, they do it for it's advancement opprotunities. Women tend not to date guys for sex, they have sex so they can date. They tend to date not for the enjoyment of who you are, they date guys for who they are so they can get into a serious relationship with them. They get into serious relationships so that they can one day get married. Is this everyone? No, but on average, probably 75% of the people you meet (that's putting it lightly) Are doing what they're doing with only the next level in mind. There is little or no appreciation of the present, the moment, the experience. It's all like one big rat race to most people. When there is no appreciation for the here and now, there is no appreciation for the person you are with, right here, right now. So whether it's a one night stand, friend with benefits, or the future 'right', appreciation of the here and now is not only improtant it's vital to the creation of a connection.

So now think back to all of the people you have met... how many of them were confident? How many of them put a high value on who they are? If 75% of people you meet never stop to "smell the roses" to enjoy anything but are only concerned with labels and at what level they are with someone, what percentage would you say of the same population is unconfident? What percentage has a low self worth? If you said "probably 75%" then you're with me on what I'm trying to say. Having a low self worth, is linked to having little appreciation for what is around you, having little appreciation is linked to a lack of social interaction, a lack of social interaction is linked to a lack of a dating and ultimately a sex life. Most guys who are total "assholes" with women are actually very positive people, and are a joy to be around. I think they get tagged as assholes because they don't do what everyone else does. But if 75% of everyone are a total bunch of losers... then who the fuck cares what they do?

So what can self worth do for you? It will draw people to you, garaunteed.

From what I've studied, just hanging around and watching people, in a non-scientific manner, usually your first impression of someone actually IS correct! I was shocked when I realized this because so few people ever understand me and they're always misjudging me and so forth. But when I finally broke down and took an honest look at myself, you know what I saw? Right, someone with low self value.

Whatever you believe you are, others see you as such. I've read crappy books where the authors think that women have a sixth sense for knowing what a man is thinking... okay maybe a woman can tell when you like her, when you want to kiss her, when you want sex... so can a fuckin poodle, that's not really an amazing trick, got me? The truth is that people, no matter how much they flatter themselves (trust me there is a lot of false flattery used to hide insecurities, I do it, most people I've met do it, but the goal is to get to a point where we don't feel the need to do it anymore) and say that they can read people's minds, the truth is that nobody has a fuckin clue who you are, what you are, what you want, or what you're looking for. They simply percieve whatever it is you're showing them.

If you tell yourself every day that you're a loser, even if really you're not, even if when the chips are down you are the best person in the world to have at your side, people will think you're a loser. It all comes down to what you truly believe.

One trick I used to pull on myself is I would say "people just don't understand me, when it comes down to it I'm probably the best thing the world has ever seen" And ya know what? I was right. When it came down to it, when I had three months to get comfortable around anyone, they absolutley adored me. But guess what? Life isn't in the "down to its". Life doesn't come down to it very often. People have to be around you when it's NOT down to it. You have to be who you are deep down inside throughout your entire body EVERY damn day if you want to be truly happy. And of course most people are bullshitting themselves right now and saying "i am happy, i could be happier, but I'm happy". The only thing I can say to that is it's like backpain. When you're in pain for a long time, you start to think you're not in pain. You don't realize how much agony you were in until the pain is gone. Find happiness and be shocked at how unhappy you used to be.

Look at that little poem thing again, is that the type of person that hides who they are from the world? Is that the kind of person that is afraid of being hurt? Is that a weak person?

NO. If you want to be loved some day, if you want to be liked, if you want to be a sex machine with 30,000 notches in your bed, if you want to be in a marriage that actually lasts... anything... you have to learn how to be you through every inch of your being. You have to love yourself enough to do that. And you have to respect yourself in order to be viewed by others in the same way.

Now let's take a look at this website. Kill The Crap, what do you think that means? Is it just a stupid slogan? Something I'm using to sell my book? Fuck my book. Forget about everything that you're used to hearing from the world and for a second just listen to me. Kill The Crap, it means rid yourself of all the bullshit in your life. "You deserve more" it means you deserve better then what you've given yourself or what the world has given you. I'm not talking about cars or sport coats or stupid abercrombie "i wish i were a model" clothing lines. It's about not ever being walked all over ever again, it's about believing in yourself, even when no one else will. It's about knowing who you are, it's about valuing that. It's about love, respect and honor. For yourself and an appreciation for everything that is around and a belief that you deserve whatever your heart is asking for. And you don't deserve to be clouded by the stupid influences of a low self esteem to be tainted by insecurity or to be numbed by shallowness and emptyness. It's time you took back your life and made a difference.

Here's an assignment. I want you to take out a sheet of paper, don't procrastinate, don't come up with an excuse, no bullshit. Take out a sheet of paper and ask yourself what your best traits are. Write them down. Then ask yourself, what does a person with those traits deserve? Forget about what you want, if this person you just wrote down was someone else, ask yourself what do they deserve? Write that down. Now reread everything, and ask yourself out of what a person like that deserves, what do YOU want? Now ask yourself how to get it.

write it down

No matter what, if you can't understand why anyone would possibly like you, no one else will. Life is better when you love yourself, more so then when others love you. The most important person in your life is you, if you can't live with yourself, you'll never find happiness.

Now get crackin on that assignment

-Kephra-

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Check out this site, there's people looking for just sex, one night stands, or friends with benefits, even people looking for relationships as well, but don't want to hide the fact that they need to get laid. It's got some crazy people on it, like any site, but I've already made about 7 connections on here and it's going well so far: Get the book, learn what to do, then go here and start doing it: